


it's hard to explain

by unhappy_turtle



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Crack, Dick Pics, Fluff, M/M, Sexting, Texting, Texting format, slight angst, what have I done?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3801412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unhappy_turtle/pseuds/unhappy_turtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy "accidentally" sends Harry a photo of his penis. </p><p>Romance ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. accidental dick pics

**Author's Note:**

> Wtf am I doing???
> 
> Okay, so, this is canon verse—or canon divergence—and idek, apparently, they have a lot of time to text each other.
> 
> *shrugs*
> 
> Edit: **This sorta teeters on the line of sexual harassment a bit—just to warn you ('cause unwanted dick pics and all). So just warning you, if that makes you uncomfortable at all, you may want to avoid this.**
> 
> Edit (again): **Also wanted to say that just because i wrote Eggsy sending unwanted dick pics doesn't mean i view that type of behavior acceptable. Yes, it is problematic and not good, i know. And therefore, it may make Eggsy a bit ooc? I feel like it goes without saying, but don't send people pictures of your genitals if they didn't ask for them**

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

omgSORRYSORRy HARRY i didnt mean 2 send dat

r u mad???? please reply HARRY I DID NOT MEAN TO SEND THAT

HARRY

HARRY

HARRY!!!!

???? 

please reply

 

**Harry**

Is that your penis, Eggsy? Why did you send that?

 

**Eggsy**

it was an accident

sorry

 

**Harry**

How did you accidentally send that to me?

 

**Eggsy**

i don't even kno  

i just

sorry

 

**Harry**

Were you trying to send it to someone else?

 

**Eggsy**

no i just

 

**Harry**

You were just taking a photo of your penis?

 

**Eggsy**

:/ i don't wanna talk about it

im so embarrassed

i wanna die

just dont wanna talk about it

 

**Harry**

Okay

 

**Eggsy**

i

i didn't mean like no talking

we can still talk if u want 2

 

**Harry**

Okay. How are you?

 

**Eggsy**

im okay. U?

 

**Harry**

I'm fine, Eggsy.

 

**Eggsy**

can i ask u something??

 

**Harry**

Of course

 

**Eggsy**

did u

did u nvm

 

**Harry**

Are you sure?

 

**Eggsy**

did u like the photo

was it a good angle or

r u still there Harry?

nvm

forget i said anything

:(((

DONT IGNore that sad face

:'(

look i added a tear

 

**Harry**

You know me too well, Eggsy

I can not ignore your sad face emoticons

 

**Eggsy**

:)) 

BUT SERiously

was it good pic

did i look big???

 

**Harry**

I refuse to have this conversation with you

 

**Eggsy**

cmon 

haarrrrrrryyyyyyy :333

its like a <3 2 <3

but talking bout dick pics

 

**Harry**

You realize that I'm your mentor, correct?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah, but we friends 2

bffs :D

hav u ever taken dick pic????

Harry???

 

**Harry**

No, I have not

 

**Eggsy**

ur no fun

u

should

take

1

and

send it to me

 

**Harry**

I'm not sending you a photo of my penis, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

wat?? its wat friends do

i m waitn

 

**Harry**

Well, you'll be waiting forever

 

**Eggsy**

u saw my penis

only fair i see urs

 

**Harry**

I didn't tell you to send me a photo of your penis

 

**Eggsy**

:'(

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

thats not ur penis

is that

is that

did u take a pic of mr. pickles arse

 

**Harry**

You are very observant, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

u r no fun

 

**Harry**

Why do you even want to see my penis?

 

**Eggsy**

real q is why do u not want me 2 see ur penis

i bet its large ;)

 

**Harry**

I don't like it when you use that emoticon

 

**Eggsy**

;)

 

**Harry**

I'm going to bed. See you at headquarters tomorrow.

 

**Eggsy**

good nite old man

xoxo

 

 


	2. non-accidental dick pics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I'm just in the zone right now, knocking these out, even though I have no idea what I am doing.

**Harry**

It's not as if I'd like to continue talking about this, but how did you end up sending me a photo of your penis?

 

**Eggsy**

none ur damn business

 

**Harry**

I think I deserve an explanation

 

**Eggsy**

nah

i mean i ll consider it

if

if u

send me a dick pic

 

**Harry**

Absolutely not

 

**Eggsy**

ur a fuckn wankr

 

**Harry**

Thank you

 

**Eggsy**

u kno i didnt mean it

harryyyyy

ur not a wanker i love u

not like love love

but

i mean

ur a good friend

not a wanker

but i bet

u have a nice dick

;)

 

**Harry**

You have mastered the art of seduction

Or whatever this is

Anyway, I did ask you a question

 

**Eggsy**

already told u it was an accident

i really dk how it happened

 

**Harry**

I don't understand

 

**Eggsy**

neithr do i

like idk bruv

m sorry

unless u liked it

did u

harrryyy

i take ur lack of response as yes

yes u liked it

and u wanked 2 it

 

**Harry**

You should take my lack of response as me being shocked into speechlessness

 

**Eggsy**

my prick has that power

its left many speechless

 

**Harry**

I don't know why I keep replying

 

**Eggsy**

yeah u do ;)

m irresistible

 

**Harry**

It seems as if you are

 

**Eggsy**

:)

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

I'm simply wondering how you want me to respond to this

 

**Eggsy**

u kno maybe

omg great cock eggsy

its quite large

want it in me

wanna suck it

 

**Harry**

What

 

**Eggsy**

jk

about the sucking n shit

but u kno friends compliment each other

yeah

 

**Harry**

Nice cock, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

thanks bruv :)

see now u send me urs

 

**Harry**

I never agreed to that

 

**Eggsy**

but we r friends

 

**Harry**

I'm fairly certain that has nothing to do with you seeing my penis

 

**Eggsy**

but i wanna

 

**Harry**

Why?

 

**Eggsy**

curiosity

 

**Harry**

I can not even express to you how unprofessional this is

 

**Eggsy**

FUCK PROFESSIONALISM

 

**Harry**

I'm just not going to reply anymore, alright? Have a nice evening

 

**Eggsy**

harryyyyy :/

u 2 mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be able to update again later today—so look out for that!


	3. lack of professionalism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, the fics getting a little more serious!

**Eggsy**

did u get home alright

 

**Harry**

Yes, I did, how about you?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah

can i cum over

 

**Harry**

Eggsy, please don't spell it that way

 

**Eggsy**

well can i???

 

**Harry**

I'd rather you not

 

**Eggsy**

wat y

is it cuz i said cum

 

**Harry**

I'd like to say no, but that definitely plays a part in it. I feel as if we should uphold our professional relationship

 

**Eggsy**

wat but we r

i m very professional

we r

professional

2gether

 

**Harry**

Yes, you are professional. I'm simply saying that I feel as if we've crossed over from a professional relationship to this odd, murky thing, I don't even know what to call it

 

**Eggsy**

wtf does that mean????

Harryy!!!

 

**Harry**

It means you sent me a several photos of your penis

 

**Eggsy**

it was only 2 fucking pics not

SEVERAL

and that is wat mates do

i ve fucking said that 1000000 times

 

**Harry**

That is not what mates do! That falls more into the category of lovers

 

**Eggsy**

maybe i

maybe i want

nvm

so we cant b friends yeah

 

**Harry**

That's not what I said

 

**Eggsy**

basically is

wat i got from that convo was

ur my mentor

NOT my friend

whatevr

dont fucking reply

 

**Harry**

You're being very dramatic right now. You know, this is all going to be very difficult if you hate me

 

**Eggsy**

I DONT FUCking hate you

ur fucking blockhead sometimes

i dont h8 u ok

i couldnt if i even tried

fucking reply ok

 

**Harry**

I don't even know what to say, Eggsy

I'm sorry I upset you

 

**Eggsy**

i accept ur apology harry

 

**Harry**

Alright then

 

**Eggsy**

m sorry 2

for the dick pics

the root of all the evil

my prick is a gift and a curse

i mean

not totally sorry tho

those were quality shots

still there harrryyyy???

 

**Harry**

Yes, unfortunately. It's as if that whole conversation did not happen

 

**Eggsy**

wat

i wont send anymore not like

we cant talk about them

 

**Harry**

I'm not talking about your penis

 

**Eggsy**

then lets talk about urs

 

**Harry**

I don't understand what you're trying to accomplish

 

**Eggsy**

male bonding

ok fine don't reply

have a fucking nice nite!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there's actually a plot, believe it or not. I have a semi-thought out plan.
> 
> Also I'm probably just going to begin updating at fucking weird intervals.
> 
> ( _Also_ I've read all your comments and I'm so glad I could make you laugh, thank you all!)


	4. confessions

**Harry**

Are you okay?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah i think so

i mean it s not like we dont always

almost die on missions

 

**Harry**

Yeah, but that was extremely close today

 

**Eggsy**

i kno but m okay

Harry?

 

**Harry**

Yes, Eggsy?

 

**Eggsy**

would u

miss me

if i

died

 

**Harry**

Of course I would

 

**Eggsy**

would u blame urself

i wouldnt want u 2

not like with my dad

 

**Harry**

I'd try not to. I really wouldn't like to outlive you, if I'm being honest

 

**Eggsy**

dont say shite like that

we'll die 2gether

 

**Harry**

That sounds quite morbid

 

**Eggsy**

sorry

think happy thoughts

think happy thoughts

_[image sent]_

look how cute JB is when hes sleeping

 

**Harry**

He is quite adorable

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

look at him

_[image sent]_

such a cutie pie

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

That is not JB

Eggsy, did you really just

I thought we were past this

 

**Eggsy**

would u believe me

if i said it was an accident???

sooooooooo

ur just not going to reply

??????????

 

**Harry**

Why do you keep doing this to me?

 

**Eggsy**

i d k

 

**Harry**

I think you do know

 

**Eggsy**

r u disappointed in me??

 

**Harry**

No, I'm just confused

 

**Eggsy**

wat if

wat if i told u that

i might

nvm

 

**Harry**

No, tell me

 

**Eggsy**

ur intelligent

put it 2gether

or just guess

okayyyy

dont guess

if i tell u

u can't hate me

promise??

u have 2 promise

 

**Harry**

I promise, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

may b

i have feelings

4

u

and in a perfect world

idk

harryyyy

ok

ur just not gunna reply

cool

fuck u harry

:/

sorry I did n t mean that

did i

just

fuck everything up

???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on the next chapter, so it may be posted later today or tomorrow!


	5. art of seduction

**Eggsy**

feel like u were avoid ng me 2day

ok if u were

i understand

sorry

but

this is nt gunna work

if we dont talk

u can forget i said anything

u kno we r professionals

yeah

r u disgusted with me

 

**Harry**

I'm not disgusted with you, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

u hate me??

 

**Harry**

No

 

**Eggsy**

r we still friends

 

**Harry**

Of course

 

**Eggsy**

bffs yeah

m sorry

:(

 

**Harry**

Never apologize for your feelings, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

:/

WAit

u never said that u did nt like me back

u just never replied

harry

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Harry**

That's a new emoticon

 

**Eggsy**

stop avoiding the subject

omg

harry

u

like

me???

HARRY

cmon honesty the best policy

u think i m cute yeah

 

**Harry**

Maybe

 

**Eggsy**

HARRY U r fucking killing me

shite

so u think m cute :)

u wanna kiss me n stuff???

 

**Harry**

Is this how we are going to go about this?

 

**Eggsy**

u wanna kiss me!!

n stuff

m actually kinda pissed at u tho

U SHOULD VE JUST TOLD ME

 

**Harry**

You are one to speak. So the photos of your penis were not accidental?

 

**Eggsy**

um

well

so anyway

i like u

u like me

;)

dick pic???

 

**Harry**

You wish

 

**Eggsy**

ok

we will take this slow

nice n slow

 

**Harry**

I'm not so sure about this, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

wat

cmon

:(

we both like each other

 

**Harry**

I'm old enough to be your father

 

**Eggsy**

ill call u daddy ;)

 

**Harry**

I'm going to ignore that

Eggsy, we work together and this could complicate things

 

**Eggsy**

hey office romance or something

it sound s like u dont want this 2 happen

:(

why

 

**Harry**

I do want this to happen

 

**Eggsy**

then wat

??????

m not gunna fuck ing beg u 2 b with me

ok????

 

**Harry**

Eggsy, please calm down

 

**Eggsy**

i m calm k

r we doing this or not

 

**Harry**

One would think you haven't mastered the art of seduction

 

**Eggsy**

i mean

i basically seduced u yeah

with my looks and my charm

 

**Harry**

I guess you could say that

 

**Eggsy**

:)

we will discuss how i seduced u 2marrow

have a lovely nite

:*

 

**Harry**

You too, Eggsy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally can't help it, everything has to be fluffy and happy. There's a very, very tiny chance that there will be anymore angst.
> 
> Also, the next chapter is actually taking a while, so maybe only one chapter tomorrow??
> 
> Seriously though, I love reading all the comments you guys leave. You are all so amazing!!!


	6. paris tonight

**Harry**

I'm wondering how in a matter of hours you told everyone at headquarters that we are lovers

 

**Eggsy**

m sensing amazement even tho

ur trying 2 sound peeved

its called a mass text luv

or do u prefer

bb

honey

sweetie

 

**Harry**

Eggsy, I'm not sure how I feel about everyone knowing about our relationship

 

**Eggsy**

its kinda too late for us to keep this on the DL

 

**Harry**

Yes, thank you for that

 

**Eggsy**

i mean

ur not mad yeah???

 

**Harry**

Of course I'm not mad

 

**Eggsy**

good :)

we shud u kno

go out

first date n all

 

**Harry**

Is there any place in particular you'd like to go?

 

**Eggsy**

um

idk

surprise me!!

 

**Harry**

Alright then

It may be difficult to find a time when we're both free

 

**Eggsy**

tru :(

 

**Harry**

Don't worry, we'll figure it out

 

**Eggsy**

okay

m at shooting range

u should come see me

help me with my aim yeah

yeah

 

**Harry**

I'd love to help you with your aim, but I'm busy

 

**Eggsy**

not 2 busy 2 text tho

harry

i barely see u

we have nt even dun anything yet

:/

u shud come down here n kiss me

or

fuc k me

i ll take either

preferably both

or

or

dick pic???

 

**Harry**

You do realize that we're both at work, right?

 

**Eggsy**

ughhhhhh

fine

i ll come 2 u

 

**Harry**

Will you be helpful or distracting?

 

**Eggsy**

a little bit of both

cmon

i ll be quiet

i ll be a good little boy for u

 

**Harry**

If you say so, you're going to have to just sit and look pretty though, I'm actually preparing for a mission

 

**Eggsy**

paris 2nite yeah?

 

**Harry**

Yes, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

m gunna miss u :(

 

**Harry**

I will miss you also

 

**Eggsy**

u kno

it's the city of love yeah

so dont fall in love with some parisian over there

 

**Harry**

I wouldn't dare

You're speaking as if I already left

Are you still coming to my office?

 

**Eggsy**

m coming

i dont got ur fuck ng five meter long legs

harry

m totally gunna suck ur dick bfore u leave

u like that

n mayb u fuck me on ur desk

 

**Harry**

I'd like that

 

**Eggsy**

woah

no lecture about professionalism

is it really u harry??

so we gunna fuck in ur office yeah

this is kinda dirty u kno

hope we dont get caught 

 

**Harry**

We haven't even started yet, Eggsy, hurry up

 

**Eggsy**

m cumming ;)

 

**Harry**

What'd I tell you about that?

 

**Eggsy**

watevr

promise i wont spell like that again

seriously tho m coming

 

**Harry**

I'm waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post yesterday. This took a while.
> 
> Next chapter will be posted tomorrow, hopefully. And the rating may go up!


	7. cumming/coming

**Eggsy**

r u busy

 

**Harry**

Not at the moment, why?

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

So we are really doing this

 

**Eggsy**

mhmm

u can check it off ur bucket list

sent dick pics *check*

now send me urs

cmon

harry!!!!

hurry up

 

**Harry**

Wait a minute

 

**Eggsy**

ohhhh my fuck ng god

it does nt have 2 look perfect ok

just has to b ur dick

m gunna be limp by the time u send it

r nt i??

ok maybe this wasnt a good idea

 

**Harry**

I've never done this before

_[image sent]_

Is it alright?

 

**Eggsy**

do u have one of those nokia camera phones???

i thought u had an iphone

harry wtf

 

**Harry**

Was it not good?

 

**Eggsy**

i gunna fuck ng punCH YOu!!!

thats the best fuck ng dick pic ive ever seen

i hate u

send another one

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

i almost feel bad for wankn 2 it

like thats art bruv

the lighting n the composition n stuff

like

its like staring at the ceiling of the sistine chapel

 

**Harry**

That's a bit much, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

maybe

but serious

r u sure u havent dun this bfore

 

**Harry**

Yes, I'm sure

 

**Eggsy**

i dont even kno wat 2 do anymore like i

think the world has ben tilted on its axis

i luv ur cock so much harry

send another one

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

i want that inside of me right now

keep the pics coming

 

**Harry**

You need to send some also

 

**Eggsy**

oh

look whos asking for dick pics now huh

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

they re not professionally taken or anything but watev

 

**Harry**

Don't bash your photos, they're quite lovely

 

**Eggsy**

yeah i kno u like my dick

cmon

send one

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

m close

r u close

 

**Harry**

Yeah

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

i wish u were here

with ur hands touching me

i love ur hands harry

i love ur everything

cant believe we how much i

_[image sent]_

i want u so bad u don t underst a  n

i wanna fuck ng fly 2 paris

rite now

n fuc k

just u

_[image sent]_

just ride ur cock until m sobbing

until m 2 sens tive n cant it take it anymore

so bad harry

want u so bad

m cumming

 

**Harry**

Are you still there, Eggsy?

Sleep well, talk to you tomorrow

 

**Eggsy**

NO

m here

had 2 clean up

did u

did u

u know

 

**Harry**

Yeah

 

**Eggsy**

yeah u did

ssseeeseeeeeeee

dick pics = goo d

but id rather see that prick in person yeah

wen u coming back???

 

**Harry**

I'm getting on the plane soon

 

**Eggsy**

really

mission didnt take long then

so see u tomorrow then

good nite

:*

 

**Harry**

You, too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a handful more chapters, I think. I don't even know.
> 
> I'd like to thank [mannersmakethhartwin](http://mannersmakethhartwin.tumblr.com)  
> and their friend for this headcanon of Harry taking simply gorgeous dick pics with perfect composition and lighting!


	8. returned

**Harry**

Are you awake?

 

**Eggsy**

now i m

 

**Harry**

I just got back. Do you want to go out?

 

**Eggsy**

wat

i just woke up

its so late

or early

cant even tell right now

 

**Harry**

I may be right outside your home

 

**Eggsy**

can i at least get ready

let a lady put her face on

n stuff

 

**Harry**

I'm sure you look lovely, just come out

 

**Eggsy**

i look like arse

let me put myself 2gether for my man

 

**Harry**

You always look beautiful

 

**Eggsy**

hey stop

ur mak ing me blush

but i have 2 put clothes on

suit or casual??

 

**Harry**

Just dress warm

 

**Eggsy**

k

how d it go in paris

 

**Harry**

No problems, went exactly as planned

 

**Eggsy**

did nt fall in love with no parisian yeah

 

**Harry**

Only have eyes for you, darling

 

**Eggsy**

ohhh

darling

i like that

m glad ur back DARLING

no injuries??

 

**Harry**

Fit as a fiddle

 

**Eggsy**

gunna need all ur health for wat i wanna do with u later

 

**Harry**

I'm looking forward to it

 

**Eggsy**

so where we gunna go

 

**Harry**

It's a surprise

 

**Eggsy**

not many places are open this late

or early

HEY i see u down there

m waving

 

**Harry**

Aren't you supposed to be getting dressed?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah

but u keep texting me

s ur fault

 

**Harry**

Get your fine little arse down here

 

**Eggsy**

ok ok

give me a sec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter. Sorry I haven't posted lately—but do not worry, I'm going all out this weekend, I'm planning on finishing this fic up!


	9. a bit sentimental, maybe

**Harry**

Did you make it upstairs alright?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah

don t understand y i could nt stay over :/

 

**Harry**

We both need sleep, if you had stayed over neither of us would've gotten any

 

**Eggsy**

i see ur point but

nothing knocks u out like a good shag yeah

anyway thank u for making me dinner

or breakfast really

not even surprised ur a brilliant cook

 

**Harry**

You're very welcome, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

lookit me all alone in bed

u should b here

i already miss u even tho we r text ng

send me a pic of ur face

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

m gunna put it on my pillow n stare at it all nite long

ur so handsome harry

i love ur face

wanna kiss it all over

 

**Harry**

You should definitely get some rest, Eggsy, you'll have to be up in a few hours

 

**Eggsy**

no m not tired its alright

unless u wanna sleep

 

**Harry**

I'd rather talk to you than sleep right now

 

**Eggsy**

seeeee

so i just couldve stayed over

i could be lying next 2 u right now

touch ng n kissing n stuff

then we'd fall asleep 2gether

wake up 2 ur lovely face

thats the dream

 

**Harry**

It truly is

 

**Eggsy**

:)

just wanna b kissing u so bad right now

mmmmmmuahhh

 

**Harry**

You are very sentimental at 3 in the morning

 

**Eggsy**

m not

 

**Harry**

If you say so

 

**Eggsy**

u kno

i

nvm

 

**Harry**

Now I have to know

 

**Eggsy**

noooo

m just being dumb

its nothin

 

**Harry**

Are you sure?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah

dont worry about it

i just

yeah i guess i get a bit sentimental at 3am

 

**Harry**

It's not a bad thing, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

feels like it sometimes

dont really wanna talk about it

 

**Harry**

That's fine, just know that if you change your mind, I'm here

 

**Eggsy**

watd i do 2 deserve u

i feel so spoiled

 

**Harry**

I often wonder the same thing

 

**Eggsy**

seems like m not the only one getting a bit sentimental huh darling

 

**Harry**

I guess so

 

**Eggsy**

m actually gunna call it a nite

i dont look this good from pulling all niters

need my beauty rest

 

**Harry**

Sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow, love

 

**Eggsy**

:*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhhh, two or so more chapters!!!


	10. lack of focus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is set about a week later or so.

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

lookit the new pants my mum bought me

_[image sent]_

my arse looks wonderful

 

**Harry**

Eggsy, this isn't the best time

 

**Eggsy**

but look

_[image sent]_

n m hard

_[image sent]_

just for u

 

**Harry**

I'm in a briefing with Merlin

 

**Eggsy**

sod the briefin g

n merlin

 

**Harry**

Eggsy, I can not. Please stop texting me

 

**Eggsy**

but

but harry

m already in ur office

naked ;)

_[image sent]_

getting myself prepared for u

don t tell me its all for nothin

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

I will admit I'd much rather be with you at the moment, but work is work

Don't you have anything else to do?

 

**Eggsy**

yeah i guess

sorta

but i just got back n

i havent seen u in days

n u havent touched me in days n

yeah

i ve had a fucking boner since i left wales

its alright if u can t reply

just kno

m sitting in ur chair jerk ng off

wud u be mad if i came on ur desk

 

**Harry**

Please don't do that

 

**Eggsy**

ok

wont cum on ur desk

_[image sent]_

wens the briefin gunna b done

 

**Harry**

Eggsy, I don't know. You can do what you want, but the texting needs to stop for right now

 

**Eggsy**

s ur fault

u could jus t ignore the messages

but ur not

 

**Harry**

Or you could stop texting me, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

m not tell ng u to text back harry

just wanted 2 talk 2 u

u know cause i missed u n all

 

**Harry**

I missed you, too, but we're at work. You need at least try to be professional

 

**Eggsy**

yeah

ok

m sorry :(

just kill d my boner

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

I'm not mad I'nnjgklkodf

Eggsy, stop diverting Harry's attention with photos of your flaccid prick

 

**Eggsy**

umm

merlin??

 

**Harry**

Yes, I'm going to shut Harry's phone off now and you're going to put some clothes on

Got it?

 

**Eggsy**

got it

have a lovely briefing sir

 

**Harry**

Just go put on some fucking clothes


	11. victor hugo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda weird cause I don't know whether I should end it here or not. 
> 
> I think this is the unofficial ending, but I still have a few more chapters I wanna post, soooo…

**Eggsy**

harrrrryyy

we need 2 talk

 

**Harry**

Good things usually do not come from that phrase. Should I be concerned?

 

**Eggsy**

no

i just

i don t kno how 2 say this

nvm

 

**Harry**

You can tell me whenever you're ready

 

**Eggsy**

ok :/

thank u

sooooooo

dick pic??

 

**Harry**

I'd rather not, I'm still at headquarters

 

**Eggsy**

bugger harry

ur a fuck ng wet blanket

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

thats not a nice hand gesture

not very gentlemanly yeah

seriously tho

m very horny

u kno n

feels like ur teasing me

but ur not even trying 2

ugh

always wanna fuck u

ur so sexy harry

i want u right now

in my bed

in me

 

**Harry**

Are you touching yourself?

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

wat woul d u do harry

if u were here

 

**Harry**

I'd finger you until you're no longer coherent, until you're sobbing.

You look especially lovely when you're mindlessly begging

 

**Eggsy**

i wan tthat

ur fingers

fuck

harry

i need pics

pls

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

fuck harry

_[image sent]_

want u 2 bend me over ur desk

n just

just take

i think i could cum from just ur cock

n would u cover my mouth

i d be 2 loud everyone would hear or

do u like that

everyone hearing how good n hard u fuck me

 

**Harry**

I do like that

 

**Eggsy**

n id want u 2 leave love bites all over me

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

id love that

just mark me up h arry

i love u

fuck

cumm ing

 

**Harry**

Still there?

 

**Eggsy**

im sorry i

fuck i mean

i

i

i love u

n i mean it

harry?

i mean it

 

**Harry**

I love you, too, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

im scared

i just

 

**Harry**

It's normal. Love can be scary

 

**Eggsy**

u kno

couple years ago i read les miserable

almost killed me

n m remembering a quote

love has no middle term

either it destroys

or it saves

wonder ng if thats true

 

**Harry**

Shall we see?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Harry has yet to master wanking and texting at the same time.
> 
> (Just wanted to once again thank everyone for reading, like woah, you all are so beautiful and amazing!)
> 
>  **Edit** : Just to be clear, I do plan on posting like five more chapters in the next couple of days!


	12. extra: virtues

**Eggsy**

were u ever in love before

 

**Harry**

I thought I was once when I was very young

 

**Eggsy**

really

 

**Harry**

Yeah, but I was also very naive

 

**Eggsy**

do u think m naive

for fall ng in love with u so quickly

 

**Harry**

Naivety can sometimes be a virtue

 

**Eggsy**

i guess

if u say so

u kno but i dont regret putting myself out there for u

feels like i won some sort of prize

 

**Harry**

I am very flattered, Eggsy. I also feel very lucky to be with you

 

**Eggsy**

its still kinda nerve wrecking tho yeah

i dont wanna let u down

or fuck up

feels like theres so much at stake now

 

**Harry**

Do you think it'd mean anything if there wasn't?

 

**Eggsy**

i guess not

but still

 

**Harry**

A little apprehension can be healthy

 

**Eggsy**

but u feel it 2 right

like this nervousness floating around ur chest

 

**Harry**

Yes, I feel it sometimes

 

**Eggsy**

then m not alone

 

**Harry**

No, you are not

 

**Eggsy**

ugh ur kill ng me

see i kno that no one is perfect

but harry i think u might be

 

**Harry**

I'm far from perfect

 

**Eggsy**

well i think ur perfect

i love you

 

**Harry**

I love you, too

 

**Eggsy**

cant believe we can just say that now

:)

will u come over

 

**Harry**

Sure

Heading out now

 

**Eggsy**

see u soon darling

  
  
  



	13. extra: vanilla

**Eggsy**

hey harry

hav u ever been fucked up the arse????

 

**Harry**

I have

 

**Eggsy**

did u like it

 

**Harry**

Yes, I did

 

**Eggsy**

u should let me top sometime

itd be fun

 

**Harry**

You don't have to try to convince me, I'd like that

 

**Eggsy**

kno u would ;)

r there any u kno things u wanna try like

 

**Harry**

Are we seriously having this discussion over text message?

 

**Eggsy**

pretty sure id drop dead if we were nt

 

**Harry**

I'd rather talk about this in person

 

**Eggsy**

ugh

so u wanna watch me pass out from embarrassment??

 

**Harry**

No, you wouldn't do that. You'd just get red and avoid eye contact. It's quite adorable actually

 

**Eggsy**

glad you find amusement in my anguish

seriously tho

see i ll go first

i would nt be opposed 2

u call ng me a slut

when u fuck me

 

**Harry**

I, too, would not be opposed to that

 

**Eggsy**

we r mak ng progress

now u share one

 

**Harry**

I'm fairly vanilla, but I'm up to anything you suggest

 

**Eggsy**

don t u fucking dare harry hart

u have 2 have something

like do u wanna be tied up

or idk

harry i just wanna make u feel good u kno

like when we fuck i feel like m the center of attention n u do everything 2 make it pleasurable for me

i wanna do that for u

or maybe if u want we could try things out

find something u like

 

**Harry**

I'd be up for that

 

**Eggsy**

was the pun intended

???

 

**Harry**

Maybe

 

**Eggsy**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ur kill ng me love


	14. extra: pets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, guys.

**Harry**

Merlin just told me I should get rid of Mr. Pickle

 

**Eggsy**

i mean

its sorta creepy

i totally understand like i love jb

but i wouldnt stuff him

 

**Harry**

I don't think I could get rid of him though

 

**Eggsy**

ever consider getting another puppy

or kitten

or anything else really

 

**Harry**

Nothing can replace Mr. Pickle

 

**Eggsy**

ur so cute when u get like this

 

**Harry**

Cute? Nothing about me is cute

 

**Eggsy**

harry ur fucking adorable shut up

but seriously tho

the new pet does nt have 2 replace mr. pickle

its just a new pet

dont put so much thought into it

 

**Harry**

A goldfish could be a nice start

 

**Eggsy**

yes

start small

n i could get it with u

like its ours

i mean only if u want

 

**Harry**

It'd be ours, I like that

 

**Eggsy**

like the whole buying a sofa with the bf

thats a thing yeah

but a goldfish

lookit me m getting all gooey n shit

 

**Harry**

You're not the only one

 

**Eggsy**

u kno roxy knew i was in love with u before i even knew

 

**Harry**

Did she now

 

**Eggsy**

she said it was the way id look at u

like u were my whole world

n she said other gooey shite that i don t wanna repeat its fuckn embarrassing

apparently i was very obvious

 

**Harry**

If you were very obvious then I was very oblivious

 

**Eggsy**

mhmm

now looking back we both look like dumb arses

 

**Harry**

Couldn't agree more

 

**Eggsy**

but yeah

m very happy that we ll have something we can call ours

 

**Harry**

Hopefully, we'll have a future filled with things we can call ours

 

**Eggsy**

love it when u talk like that

about our future

fuck

i love u

 

**Harry**

I love you, too, Eggsy

 

**Eggsy**

seriously tho harry

words r nt even enough sometimes

like i wish there were words that meant more than those three

 

**Harry**

But they do seem to get the message across

 

**Eggsy**

wish i was a poet

i think u deserve deeper words tho

 

**Harry**

I'm sure those three will suffice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want us all to participate in a group hug right now! Thank you so much everyone for the comments and kudos and the views! Thank you so much!! I'm so glad I could share this with you all and that you enjoyed it :*


	15. extra: drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I could not leave well enough alone, so here's another chapter that I wrote like sometime last year.
> 
> (also warning for sexual content, aka, sexting, and harry says "slut" but eggsy likes it, and it was discussed in an earlier chapter!)

**Harry**

Miss you

 

**Eggsy**

miss u 2

wen u gunna b back

 

**Harry**

next week

 

**Eggsy**

:(((

 

**Harry**

feeling the sane way

 

**Eggsy**

harry

WOAH

was that a typo?????

u ok???

 

**Harry**

Yeah

a bit drink

 

**Eggsy**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

really??

u wanna u kno

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

Yeeh

i want you

 

**Eggsy**

show me how much u want me

need pics luv

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

 

**Eggsy**

m honestly wondern how ur dic pics r still better than mine even tho ur drunk

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

Want you in m ymouth

 

**Eggsy**

want that 2

ur so good at sucking cock harry

u hav no fuck ng gag reflex

just tak ng me down all the way

the things u do with ur tongue

ur teeth

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

_[image sent]_

want to see you fingerng yourself

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

wish they were ur fingers

or ur tongue

 

**Harry**

Want to eat out that tight little arse of yours

get my tongue a s deep inside you as I can

 

**Eggsy**

yesss pls harry

m at 3 fingers

 

**Harry**

Show me

 

**Eggsy**

_[image sent]_

got out a toy

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

not as big as u tho

does nt feel as good as u

_[image sent]_

want ur cock in me

stretching me

making me feel so fuck ng full

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

love u inside me harry

 

**Harry**

your so beautiful when your desperate for me

so fuckin gsexy just for me

im so lucky

 

**Eggsy**

hate that ur not here touch ng me

fuck ng me

_[image sent]_

_[image sent]_

 

**Harry**

my little slut

 

**Eggsy**

fuck

yes

m ur slut

shittt t

_[image sent]_

fuc k harry

 

**Harry**

your so dirty

i want t clean you up

lick the cum off your abs your chest

 

**Eggsy**

babe u gotta give me a sec 2 get hard again

harry

harry?????

did u fall asleep??

????

 

**Harry**

Cuddle you

just be clos e to you

i love you so muc h

your the best thing that ever happend to me eggs

mis syou

 

**Eggsy**

i love you too harry

and i agree

m the best thing that happened 2 u :)

harry

harry

did you actually fall asleep this time?????

god ur such an old man

i hope u sleep well and pray ng ur hangover is nt 2 bad

:*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a second part to this chapter, but idk if i wanna post it, it's a little angsty
> 
> hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
